WELCOME TO THE BLOODY FOOD CHAIN!!!

Welcome to the bloody food chain!

Once upon a time, there was darkness. And then God made the sun. That was a good day for people, because without the sun, we couldn’t exist. Then land and junk was made and happiness happened.  Well, this sun, you see, he liked to do this thing called photosynthesis. I’ll spare you the science lesson, but basically, the sun combines plants, itself and carbon dioxide and makes energy. He shoves all the energy into the plant and calls it a day. Now those plants can’t be greedy and keep all that energy for themselves, right? So they make seeds and a nice little brown mouse can come by a take a snack. Now the energy from the sun has been transferred to the seed. Once the ATPs in the mouse’s bloodstream get to the seed, the sun’s energy is now converted to the mouse. FABULOUS. Of course you have to realize, each time one of these transfers happen, a whole lot of energy is lost. (90%, to be exact.) Now, the mouse is just minding it’s own business, trotting along, maybe plotting to nab some berries before calling it a day when a hawk sweeps down and makes lunch right there on the spot. TOTAL bummer for little whiskers, who I was really starting to get fond of. Now the original energy from the sun has been reduced to .1% and everyone’s had a good meal. The hunter dude (who is played by Brad Pitt!!!!) aims his shotgun and takes down Mr. Mouse Killer and makes a wall hanging. Take five, people, that’s a wrap.

Now over in the pond, there’s a different story going on, even though the plot seems strangely familiar. Mr. Golden Sun does his magic and algae grows like craaazy. Our little hero, Fish Boy takes a bite of the algae and the golden goodness fills him up with, you guessed it, 1% of the suns original energy! Too bad for fishy, but the polecat (who’s face is just TOO cute to be angry at!!) is mego-hungry. He spies the f-boy and has his own personal fish fry. Yum, Yum, Yum!! Spot the similarities? It’s a different food chain, but it’s got the same beat.  Moral of the Story : There’s always going to be someone bigger and better to replace you. So watch your back. And even if you do watch your back you will still get hurt. (Killed, actually.) Sucks for you. Majorly.

Sooo, in other news, I made the fabulous charts and posters you can see below pertaining to the food chain. Light pink page shows what type each biotic/abiotic factors are, (carnivore, omnivore and so forth). Dark Pink shows some food chains illustrated in the large poster and so does the green. (There was so many dog-eat-dog scenarios, I didn’t have enough room)

Annnnd, I made sure there were plenty of detail shots in the poster so you can see all the blood I poured into this job. (read: 5.4 quarts)

I know sometimes it might seem like it would be awesome to be a bird or something, but honestly, we are SO lucky to be at the top of the food chain. Dying does NOT seem pleasant, especially the way so many of the poor little critters in the MO ecosystem do. As LUNCH. I used to be scared of giants eating me when I was little and I wonder if lil animals feel the same way. How would YOU like to be just another cog in the food chain of life?

I’m not going to go on a vegetarian rant, goodness knows I’ve been up and down through that stage. But there IS  a lesson here. Every creature is a cog in the food chain. Except us. If we aren’t meant to be eaten, then isn’t that evidence that we were intended for some higher purpose? Think about  it, people! I AIN’T NO FISH.

Woah, it's Brad Pitt!!! and a butterfly!

               

super fab detail shot of my MAD skillz

I like it on the TABLE, babyyy. 

Does this poster make me look fat?

Look at my bumble-bees!

Remind me again why there is a tropical fish in this picture?

Gahhhh, it's the bloody ARROWS!

Yes, I know, the back of my poster is FASCINATING. 

Ya'll proud of me and my hard work? Good, because I ain't doing it again! :P

My ninja speech for school

Mary’s Instructional Speech about Ninjas – A CONSTRUCTIVE outline

1)      Intro

2)      What is a ninja?

3)      What sorts of jobs do they do?

4)      What do they like to eat?

5)      Also, can they jump and stuff?

6)      Can I buy one?

7)      Not even as a pet?

8)      Fine.

9)      What do their knee caps look like?

10)   What have ninja’s contributed to society?

11)   Why ninjas are a cultural art or something mushy like that.

12)   THE END.

Mary’s CONSTRUCTIVE Intro to her Instructional Speech about Ninjas

                After studying for a long time and wearing some extremely unfashionable white lab coats, scientists have come to a conclusion. They now know three undebateable facts about ninjas. They are undebateable because science is always right, even when it defies gravity, like my fourth armpit. Science never lies. It’s a fact (made up by science people.) Anyhoo, these facts are self-evident, a word which here means “definitely true.” Since you are probably chewing your fingernails off in anticipation, I might as well tell you the facts, since that’s the whole point of the entire speech.

*clear throat*

Facts:

1.       Ninjas are mammals.

2.       Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3.       Ninjas are hard to beat.

4.       The purpose of ninjas is to flip out and kill people.

5.       They always act like they don’t care about anything but they still try to be all precise and junk.

At this point you are probably thinking : “What a dumb speech topic. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas.” Well, you have an excellent point. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas because they are so GOSH DARN AWESOME. But nobody really stops and thinks, “Gee, I wonder what ninjas are REALLY? Under all that black stuff. I mean, what if they are scary robots?”

(Transition into REAL ACTUAL INFORMATIONAL SPEECH USING REAL FACTS I PROMISE ARE NOT FROM WIKIPEDIA) 

My Amazing Science Models I promise are not from Wikipedia

Detail of my 3-D cell project. Today (11/10/10) I became the first person alive to construct a model of a cell using a bingo cage, beans, and a bouncy ball. :) 

My ever-detailed explanation of my cell model, which is currently sitting in it's bingo-cage support system.

Labeling stuff is so fun!!! :) 

Another bio project. The cardboard model shows a nucleic acid (DNA/RNA) molecule and the marshmallows show a starch molecule. As you can see, starch molecules are embarrassingly simple. 

           Aren't my finger tips simply intriguing? I'm sure you can see my weirdly shaped thumb in at least one of the pictures. I can't remember what it's called but I have this strange thumb disorder. Don't be haters because Megan Fox has the same thing and the media was ripping on her last year for photo-shopping someone else's thumb into her super bowl commercial for bathtubs or something. If I could have anything in common with Megan Fox it would HAVE to be her one flaw, her ugly thumbs. Of course that's be the one feature of her's I'd get. Poor old me. ;)
          Anyway, looks aren't everything - it seems brains count for quite a bit and speaking of which I have my mother to thank for thinking of the ingenious way to use a bingo cage as a cell instead of clay and Styrofoam. Actually she thought of using basically all those materials. Even the marshmallows for the starch molecules. And the cardboard. HEY, SHE IS MY TEACHER!!!!! Don't be hatin', ya'll, it's not my fault I can't think for myself. She is my bio teacher after all.
          Even though I'm going to John Paul II Preparatory, I still have to do biology at home because of my class schedule conflicts.  Aaaand speaking of which I'm like, WAY behind in bio so I better get my booty moving off this computer and into my textbook!!!
Ciao,
Mary Di Valeiro