My ninja speech for school

Mary’s Instructional Speech about Ninjas – A CONSTRUCTIVE outline

1)      Intro

2)      What is a ninja?

3)      What sorts of jobs do they do?

4)      What do they like to eat?

5)      Also, can they jump and stuff?

6)      Can I buy one?

7)      Not even as a pet?

8)      Fine.

9)      What do their knee caps look like?

10)   What have ninja’s contributed to society?

11)   Why ninjas are a cultural art or something mushy like that.

12)   THE END.

Mary’s CONSTRUCTIVE Intro to her Instructional Speech about Ninjas

                After studying for a long time and wearing some extremely unfashionable white lab coats, scientists have come to a conclusion. They now know three undebateable facts about ninjas. They are undebateable because science is always right, even when it defies gravity, like my fourth armpit. Science never lies. It’s a fact (made up by science people.) Anyhoo, these facts are self-evident, a word which here means “definitely true.” Since you are probably chewing your fingernails off in anticipation, I might as well tell you the facts, since that’s the whole point of the entire speech.

*clear throat*

Facts:

1.       Ninjas are mammals.

2.       Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3.       Ninjas are hard to beat.

4.       The purpose of ninjas is to flip out and kill people.

5.       They always act like they don’t care about anything but they still try to be all precise and junk.

At this point you are probably thinking : “What a dumb speech topic. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas.” Well, you have an excellent point. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas because they are so GOSH DARN AWESOME. But nobody really stops and thinks, “Gee, I wonder what ninjas are REALLY? Under all that black stuff. I mean, what if they are scary robots?”

(Transition into REAL ACTUAL INFORMATIONAL SPEECH USING REAL FACTS I PROMISE ARE NOT FROM WIKIPEDIA)