My ninja speech for school

Mary’s Instructional Speech about Ninjas – A CONSTRUCTIVE outline

1)      Intro

2)      What is a ninja?

3)      What sorts of jobs do they do?

4)      What do they like to eat?

5)      Also, can they jump and stuff?

6)      Can I buy one?

7)      Not even as a pet?

8)      Fine.

9)      What do their knee caps look like?

10)   What have ninja’s contributed to society?

11)   Why ninjas are a cultural art or something mushy like that.

12)   THE END.

Mary’s CONSTRUCTIVE Intro to her Instructional Speech about Ninjas

                After studying for a long time and wearing some extremely unfashionable white lab coats, scientists have come to a conclusion. They now know three undebateable facts about ninjas. They are undebateable because science is always right, even when it defies gravity, like my fourth armpit. Science never lies. It’s a fact (made up by science people.) Anyhoo, these facts are self-evident, a word which here means “definitely true.” Since you are probably chewing your fingernails off in anticipation, I might as well tell you the facts, since that’s the whole point of the entire speech.

*clear throat*

Facts:

1.       Ninjas are mammals.

2.       Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3.       Ninjas are hard to beat.

4.       The purpose of ninjas is to flip out and kill people.

5.       They always act like they don’t care about anything but they still try to be all precise and junk.

At this point you are probably thinking : “What a dumb speech topic. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas.” Well, you have an excellent point. Everyone is obsessed with ninjas because they are so GOSH DARN AWESOME. But nobody really stops and thinks, “Gee, I wonder what ninjas are REALLY? Under all that black stuff. I mean, what if they are scary robots?”

(Transition into REAL ACTUAL INFORMATIONAL SPEECH USING REAL FACTS I PROMISE ARE NOT FROM WIKIPEDIA) 

My Amazing Science Models I promise are not from Wikipedia

Detail of my 3-D cell project. Today (11/10/10) I became the first person alive to construct a model of a cell using a bingo cage, beans, and a bouncy ball. :) 

My ever-detailed explanation of my cell model, which is currently sitting in it's bingo-cage support system.

Labeling stuff is so fun!!! :) 

Another bio project. The cardboard model shows a nucleic acid (DNA/RNA) molecule and the marshmallows show a starch molecule. As you can see, starch molecules are embarrassingly simple. 

           Aren't my finger tips simply intriguing? I'm sure you can see my weirdly shaped thumb in at least one of the pictures. I can't remember what it's called but I have this strange thumb disorder. Don't be haters because Megan Fox has the same thing and the media was ripping on her last year for photo-shopping someone else's thumb into her super bowl commercial for bathtubs or something. If I could have anything in common with Megan Fox it would HAVE to be her one flaw, her ugly thumbs. Of course that's be the one feature of her's I'd get. Poor old me. ;)
          Anyway, looks aren't everything - it seems brains count for quite a bit and speaking of which I have my mother to thank for thinking of the ingenious way to use a bingo cage as a cell instead of clay and Styrofoam. Actually she thought of using basically all those materials. Even the marshmallows for the starch molecules. And the cardboard. HEY, SHE IS MY TEACHER!!!!! Don't be hatin', ya'll, it's not my fault I can't think for myself. She is my bio teacher after all.
          Even though I'm going to John Paul II Preparatory, I still have to do biology at home because of my class schedule conflicts.  Aaaand speaking of which I'm like, WAY behind in bio so I better get my booty moving off this computer and into my textbook!!!
Ciao,
Mary Di Valeiro