How to Feed a Dog a Pill

We’ve all seen dogs do nasty things. I don’t care HOW brilliant or adorable your doggie might be, he or she have probably done something gross. With all their butt-sniffing, and toilet water drinking habits, not to mention some other unsanitary behaviors, it’s no wonder they end up at the vet! One thing will turn into another and the next thing you know your puppy’s got a prescription! If you’ve ever tried to feed a dog a pill you know as well as I do that it can turn into a hilarious, embarrassing and seemingly impossible situation. So, to help you learn this oh-so-important life skill, I’ve come up with a few practical tips along complete with a step-by-step guide to completing this daunting task.

Step One: Find the pill.   Believe it or not, this step is actually pretty crucial. I tend to lose anything with words printed on it that I don’t understand, like a prescription bottle. It’s good for my ego, but not so great for my dog that needs to get better. Please, for the sake of PETA, just find the pills.

Step Two:  Find the dog. Okay, I’m not sure about you, but my dog has a medication sensor. She instinctively knows when it’s that time of the month and she’s gonna have to pop a pill. Your dog may resort to hiding under beds, behind doors, or under your grandmother’s car. Effective strategies include luring them out with the prospect of playing fetch, or you could simply wave bacon in the air and wait for the dog to come to you. A downside of this method is you will also attract every small child within twenty feet.

Step Three: Prepare the pill. There are many ways you could do this, such as hiding the pill in cheese. Bacon will not work, because between the time you start looking for the dog and actually lure him out, an army of small children will employ guerilla warfare and ambush you, confiscating any bacon they find. White bread, which is the equivalent of edible clay can be shaped around the pill like a ball and then you can soak the  whole thing in chili, or something that smells like old meat, which for some reason seems to go over well with dogs. Maybe stick it in your brother’s shoe for a week?

Step Four: Prepare the Dog. To fool him into eating the pill, he should be very, very tired, so he won’t spot your diabolical plot. If you have a hyper dog, like I do, this could be a problem.  With some dogs, they won’t be worn out, even after playing “fetch” for three straight days. This is when you must employ the “stick-throwing-robot-guy.”  (He is crucial to this operation, trust me!)

Step Five: Do it! Next, you should wave Velveeta cheese suggestively under his nose while meowing like a cat to confuse him and cause him to open is mouth in the universal “HUH??” expression.  That’s when you shove the pill in and finally obtain victory.

However, If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. But then give up. There’s no point in being ridiculous about it. If your dog doesn’t appreciate your attempts just get one of those pill pocket dog treats. Problem solved!!!

Thank You!