Life's a Bowl of Explosive Cherries!: WELCOME TO THE BLOODY FOOD CHAIN!!!

Welcome to the bloody food chain!

Once upon a time, there was darkness. And then God made the sun. That was a good day for people, because without the sun, we couldn’t exist. Then land and junk was made and happiness happened. Well, this sun, you see, he liked to do this thing called photosynthesis. I’ll spare you the science lesson, but basically, the sun combines plants, itself and carbon dioxide and makes energy. He shoves all the energy into the plant and calls it a day. Now those plants can’t be greedy and keep all that energy for themselves, right? So they make seeds and a nice little brown mouse can come by a take a snack. Now the energy from the sun has been transferred to the seed. Once the ATPs in the mouse’s bloodstream get to the seed, the sun’s energy is now converted to the mouse. FABULOUS. Of course you have to realize, each time one of these transfers happen, a whole lot of energy is lost. (90%, to be exact.) Now, the mouse is just minding it’s own business, trotting along, maybe plotting to nab some berries before calling it a day when a hawk sweeps down and makes lunch right there on the spot. TOTAL bummer for little whiskers, who I was really starting to get fond of. Now the original energy from the sun has been reduced to .1% and everyone’s had a good meal. The hunter dude (who is played by Brad Pitt!!!!) aims his shotgun and takes down Mr. Mouse Killer and makes a wall hanging. Take five, people, that’s a wrap.

Now over in the pond, there’s a different story going on, even though the plot seems strangely familiar. Mr. Golden Sun does his magic and algae grows like craaazy. Our little hero, Fish Boy takes a bite of the algae and the golden goodness fills him up with, you guessed it, 1% of the suns original energy! Too bad for fishy, but the polecat (who’s face is just TOO cute to be angry at!!) is mego-hungry. He spies the f-boy and has his own personal fish fry. Yum, Yum, Yum!! Spot the similarities? It’s a different food chain, but it’s got the same beat. Moral of the Story : There’s always going to be someone bigger and better to replace you. So watch your back. And even if you do watch your back you will still get hurt. (Killed, actually.) Sucks for you. Majorly.

Sooo, in other news, I made the fabulous charts and posters you can see below pertaining to the food chain. Light pink page shows what type each biotic/abiotic factors are, (carnivore, omnivore and so forth). Dark Pink shows some food chains illustrated in the large poster and so does the green. (There was so many dog-eat-dog scenarios, I didn’t have enough room)

Annnnd, I made sure there were plenty of detail shots in the poster so you can see all the blood I poured into this job. (read: 5.4 quarts)

I know sometimes it might seem like it would be awesome to be a bird or something, but honestly, we are SO lucky to be at the top of the food chain. Dying does NOT seem pleasant, especially the way so many of the poor little critters in the MO ecosystem do. As LUNCH. I used to be scared of giants eating me when I was little and I wonder if lil animals feel the same way. How would YOU like to be just another cog in the food chain of life?

I’m not going to go on a vegetarian rant, goodness knows I’ve been up and down through that stage. But there IS a lesson here. Every creature is a cog in the food chain. Except us. If we aren’t meant to be eaten, then isn’t that evidence that we were intended for some higher purpose? Think about it, people! I AIN’T NO FISH.