*IMPORTANT MESSAGE*

Goodbye, Mr. Chips.

There ain't an American who doesn't love a good lip-smacking potato chip. Recently scientists (*cough* ME *cough*) have been analyzing the psychological impacts of your favorite flavor of this popular crunchy snack. 

Classic- Classic Potato chips are for the kind of people who also enjoy original bubblegum and clear streams of running water. They also enjoy lukewarm roasted marshmallows that are barely even yellowed. If you like Classic then you are the type of friend someone can count on when they are in a pinch. But if they want you to come TPing with them, you suddenly have a HUGE honors bio test you have to study for. 

Sodium-free – If your favorite bag of chips is sodium-free you either had your taste-buds removed or you are dead.

BBQ- This sweet-and-tangy combo is perfect for those who love high-top sneakers and spray-painted chiwahas. And also for those people who cannot spell chiwahas. (You know, the Mexican rat dogs?)

Sour Cream and Onion- Blech. That’s all I can say.

Fish and Chips- Um, your fave “flavour” isn’t even a chip. Sorry – it’s a fancy name for deep fried fish/potato mush. Yeaaaah, sour cream and onion is starting to sound super delish right now. Better head back to London, mate. Bonjour, or whatevs.

Salt & Vinegar- If you enjoy this type of chip then you are the type of guy who looks like he’s all ready for Sunday school but secretly wishes he was dying his hair green with Kool-Aid and starting a band in his garage. C’mon, this thing doesn’t lie – you know you want too!!

Wrinkled – I can never remember what they call this kind of chip? Ripped? Rippled? Ripe-eld? Whatever. It’s basically a variation of Classic. It’s like drawing a stick figure on a refrigerator box and calling it a masterpiece. LIES I TELL YOU.

*sigh* It's a food post. Now what does that tell you? (I'm a woman, I'm hungry and I'm craving chips)

Welcome to the Rain Forest!

Breathe in warm, moist air, smell hot animal dropping and hear the screeching of a toucan. Take a single step into the steamy jungle and hear the hiss of an anaconda and the scurrying of a squirrel monkey. Look up at the deep emerald celling that seeps with moisture and sunshine and sigh into the heavy air. Home to tall trees, the most species in the world and as much as one inch of rain a day, welcome to the rainforest! This is the biome that has captured the imaginations of filmmakers and the hearts of environmental activists.

Tropical rainforests are made of very tall trees – many of which are 70 meters above the ground! They from a dense covering called the canopy. In the section below the canopy, we have the understory. This is an area of shorter trees and vines. Organic matter falls to the forest floor regularly and it quickly decomposes and the nutrients are recycled. A rainforest resembles a tangled green mess. It’s abiotic factors include hot and wet weather all year round, and thin, nutrient poor soils.

Dominant plants in the tropical rainforest are broad-leaved evergreen trees, ferns and large woody vines/climbing plants. Also popular are beautiful orchids and bromeliads. These plants are inhabited by a variety of different animals. In fact, the tropical rain forest has more species than any other biome on earth! Some of the dominant herbivores include slots, tapir and capybaras. Common predators are jaguars, anteaters, monkeys, birds (toucans, parrots, parakeets), butterflies, ants, and piranhas. Reptiles are also found in the rainforest, mostly caymans, boa constrictors and anacondas.

If you wanted to visit a tropical rain forest, you would have to travel to parts of south and central America. You could also find one in south-east Asia, or southern India. Last but not least, you could also find tropical rainforests in northeastern Australia. If you want to take a trip to a rainforest, be careful, because they are full of dangerous and poisonous creatures! They are drenched in pests that often carry diseases such as malaria. However, if you are a serious scientist looking to study a large and interesting ecosystem, this could be for you! 

LOOK OUT FOR THE KILLER GUY! 

My Niche

     Because I'm such a productive person, I blew threw so much biology I'm on to the next item to be posted on my blog. No, not another Van Gogh worthy poster. Actually, I wish it was that simple. Question # 35 in my assessment asked me to "Write a description of your niche in the environment. Include details about your ecosystem, including the biotic and abiotic factors around you. Be sure to describe your feeding habits as well as any interactions you have with members of your species."
     Great. Now "they" will find me.
                      Okay, here's a rundown. My name is Mary Di Valerio and I am of the species "homo Teenagerious." This species is typically one of the more ridiculed species, because they are one of the few groups of people on earth who would rather rant about fictional characters and correspond with a glass screen rather than take a warm bath and crawl into a toasty bath. In general, members of "homo Teenagerious" are reckless and uncontrollable when they come into contact with substances such as sugar, cheese and caffeine. Their habitat consists of small dens that vaguely resemble the television show "Hoarders." The bedrooms of "homo Teenagerious" are by far dirtier, smellier and sloppier, however. When entering such a habitat, proceed with caution. The rooms may contain unprecedented amounts of junk food and Japanese soldiers who think WWII is still in progress.
      Their eating schedule consists thus: three meals a day plus about four billion snack breaks in between.
       Interactions with members of the species are brief and to the point. If you are lucky the "homo Teenagerious" may even grunt! Members of this species are very shy and prefer to do their business over a very sacred ritual called "Facebook."
     Some elite members of "homo Teenagerious" undergo intense mating rituals in which they exchange saliva  and touch palms.
     Some biotic features include clumps of fuzzy mold in the corners of their bedrooms and that's about it. They prefer to interact with technology rather than living organisms.

                I hope you were paying attention,  as there will be a test on Monday.

Photograph of typical teenager

WELCOME TO THE BLOODY FOOD CHAIN!!!

Welcome to the bloody food chain!

Once upon a time, there was darkness. And then God made the sun. That was a good day for people, because without the sun, we couldn’t exist. Then land and junk was made and happiness happened.  Well, this sun, you see, he liked to do this thing called photosynthesis. I’ll spare you the science lesson, but basically, the sun combines plants, itself and carbon dioxide and makes energy. He shoves all the energy into the plant and calls it a day. Now those plants can’t be greedy and keep all that energy for themselves, right? So they make seeds and a nice little brown mouse can come by a take a snack. Now the energy from the sun has been transferred to the seed. Once the ATPs in the mouse’s bloodstream get to the seed, the sun’s energy is now converted to the mouse. FABULOUS. Of course you have to realize, each time one of these transfers happen, a whole lot of energy is lost. (90%, to be exact.) Now, the mouse is just minding it’s own business, trotting along, maybe plotting to nab some berries before calling it a day when a hawk sweeps down and makes lunch right there on the spot. TOTAL bummer for little whiskers, who I was really starting to get fond of. Now the original energy from the sun has been reduced to .1% and everyone’s had a good meal. The hunter dude (who is played by Brad Pitt!!!!) aims his shotgun and takes down Mr. Mouse Killer and makes a wall hanging. Take five, people, that’s a wrap.

Now over in the pond, there’s a different story going on, even though the plot seems strangely familiar. Mr. Golden Sun does his magic and algae grows like craaazy. Our little hero, Fish Boy takes a bite of the algae and the golden goodness fills him up with, you guessed it, 1% of the suns original energy! Too bad for fishy, but the polecat (who’s face is just TOO cute to be angry at!!) is mego-hungry. He spies the f-boy and has his own personal fish fry. Yum, Yum, Yum!! Spot the similarities? It’s a different food chain, but it’s got the same beat.  Moral of the Story : There’s always going to be someone bigger and better to replace you. So watch your back. And even if you do watch your back you will still get hurt. (Killed, actually.) Sucks for you. Majorly.

Sooo, in other news, I made the fabulous charts and posters you can see below pertaining to the food chain. Light pink page shows what type each biotic/abiotic factors are, (carnivore, omnivore and so forth). Dark Pink shows some food chains illustrated in the large poster and so does the green. (There was so many dog-eat-dog scenarios, I didn’t have enough room)

Annnnd, I made sure there were plenty of detail shots in the poster so you can see all the blood I poured into this job. (read: 5.4 quarts)

I know sometimes it might seem like it would be awesome to be a bird or something, but honestly, we are SO lucky to be at the top of the food chain. Dying does NOT seem pleasant, especially the way so many of the poor little critters in the MO ecosystem do. As LUNCH. I used to be scared of giants eating me when I was little and I wonder if lil animals feel the same way. How would YOU like to be just another cog in the food chain of life?

I’m not going to go on a vegetarian rant, goodness knows I’ve been up and down through that stage. But there IS  a lesson here. Every creature is a cog in the food chain. Except us. If we aren’t meant to be eaten, then isn’t that evidence that we were intended for some higher purpose? Think about  it, people! I AIN’T NO FISH.

Woah, it's Brad Pitt!!! and a butterfly!

               

super fab detail shot of my MAD skillz

I like it on the TABLE, babyyy. 

Does this poster make me look fat?

Look at my bumble-bees!

Remind me again why there is a tropical fish in this picture?

Gahhhh, it's the bloody ARROWS!

Yes, I know, the back of my poster is FASCINATING. 

Ya'll proud of me and my hard work? Good, because I ain't doing it again! :P

My Nose Hurts.

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it snow!

Skye, Baby! 

Pumpkins and Broccoli and Counters! Oh My! 

 As you can clearly see in the above photographs, I am an amazing chef. My dog is super gorge and the broccoli my mother buys is a neon green.
However, I am having math troubles. Math troubles are the worst kind of trouble you can possibly have. Also, my nose hurts. I have a cold and every-time I sneeze, I use a tissue and now my nose is chaffed.
And I don't even LIKE broccoli!

I have MAD cookie decorating skills. Check out my tied-dyed one! OO! And the one with green glasses is my Dad!

I'm just a complaining train-wreck today. At least I have awesome cookies!!! Off to make a pot of hot chocolate!

P.S. It snowed!!! But it's too cold to go outside. :(

The Latest in Fruit and Pen Technology

         This morning I executed a ton of biology work, and it's a good thing too, because I got a lot done and did two super fun labs! Since this is the only course I'm taking at home (remind me to explain the whole hybrid school set up to you sometime!) I don't have a class to share my fascinating science facts with. Ergo, I am forced to post them on the internet. (Which is actually quite delightful, when you think about it.)

Me, cleaning my knife. How sinister! (Actually, it's proof of our neat I am.)

The cut up fruit laid out, nice and neat. 

Me, magnifying my favorite fruit!

My lab all set up! 

My data. As you can see in the far right bottom corner, I had difficulty describing the shape of a pear, so I just drew it. 

It's breakfast! YUM YUM YUM!

The first project I did this morning was a fruit lab!I basically cut up the fruit and described them in a table, finding similarities and differences between the five delicious specimens I laid out before me. The banana was the coolest, even if it was the mushiest. I made everything seem quite professional. I even wiped off the table! (Yes, I know. My parents SHOULD get me a car!!!)

As you can see from the last two photographs, the end result was a chart full of data and a tasty breakfast for me. The scraps and peels went in our compost bucket. A compost bucket is a great way to give back to the earth, since we take so much out of it. Plus, it’ll help you grow tasty vegetables! We throw all of our organic food waste to the garden and all of our processed food scraps to our chickens. Basically it’s a natural form of recycling! The chickens eat the food and produce new food (Eggs! Which are, if you are wondering, MUCH healthier than those potato chips!) Of course the chicken’s main diet is feeding pellets, but we like to feed them a little treat every once in a while. It’s better than wasting our precious junk food, after all! If you are curious, the chickens also eat bugs, snakes and lizards they find in the woods behind our house. Buuuut that’s nasty. So, lets talk about compost. Which is, slightly LESS nasty, fyi. Compost decomposes and the vitamins and minerals go back into the soil so they can be drawn out again and put in next years crops! We also put manure down from (you guessed it!) the chickens! We even use the poop from our sheep and goats. Sheep manure is actually the best because you don’t have to age it before putting it on the garden. Ageing decomposes some of the stronger substances in the animal waste, so it doesn’t “burn” the plants. But the enzymes in the sheep’s digestive system are so strong that the poop is mild enough we can put it right on top of our garden.

                How did we get to be talking about such nasty things anyway? Oh right, I forgot, it’s a science post! I don’t HATE science, but it is a lot of work. I sort of like it, but at the same time, it’s like that annoying red nail polish you keep telling yourself that you’ll throw away one of these days. Science is like compost, nasty and hard to look at but beneficial in the long run.

                The OTHER project I made today was a Dichotomous Key  for Writing Utensils. This is simply a fancy name for a classification system for a few pens, pencils and also a highlighter. 

My lovely victims

While I won't bore you will the key (since it is rather dry) I did want to tell you about it so I wouldn't feel like I worked for nothing. 

Peace Out,

Mary

How To Manipulate DNA so You can Be Rich and Famous and Do What You WANT!!!!

          Do you want POWER? Real, ultimate POWER? Then leave, and become a ninja. There is nothing for you to see here.
However, if you would like to know how to manipulate DNA, then read on:
Scientists use their knowledge of the structure of DNA and its chemical properties to study and change DNA molecules. Different techniques are used to extract DNA form cells, to cut DNA into smaller piece, to identify the sequence of bases in a DNA molecule and to make unlimited copies of DNA.
Genetic Engineering is making changes in the DNA code of a living organism.
How DNA is extracted:
The cells are opened and the DNA is separated from the other cell parts.
DNA is then cut using restriction enzymes into a specific sequence of nucleotides.
Restriction Enzymes are super precise, apparently.
And I'm bored of the topic, apparently.

So here's a picture of the worlds' ugliest, creepiest, most disturbed shoes, EVER.